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Transformative Mindset: Love, Oprah 7 Takes, Toxic Authenticity, Your Vulnerable Side

 

February 17, 2023

Happy Curious Friday and Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

What is LOVE to you❓

⭐️ I think love is a beautiful, imperfect journey of going many ups and downs together.
⭐️ Love is treating your partner like a cue for your personal growth.
⭐️ Love is giving, loving someone the way they want to be loved.
⭐️ Love is realising it took millions of random decisions in life, for two people to fall in love and become a couple.
⭐️ Love and loss are siblings. Without loss, there is no love.

Share your thoughts on Linkedin

 

Here are 1 idea from me, 1 learning from others, and 1 question for you to ponder this week. If you enjoyed this newsletter, please share it with others.

1 Idea from Me

With more than 45 years of track record of success, a net worth of over $3.5 billion, Oprah Winfrey was once asked to do 7 takes just to pronounce her name for '60 minutes'. It was "too emotional" she was told. She ended up pulling herself down and flattening out her personality. Seeing the mismatch, she walked away from it.

It was my dream to join one of the big three strategy consulting firms right after I graduated 17 years ago (I just turned 39). I applied to Boston Consulting Group, McKinsey and Bain & Capital and heard nothing from them, just a number of automated rejection emails. A few years ago, I received an offer from one of them out of the blue. I declined it. I shared with a few people and they all thought I was crazy, one even said they would do anything just to work there. I walked away from it because my wife just gave birth to our first child. I've been focusing on what I enjoy on the side like writing, podcasting, and creating this newsletter (I hope you like it). A few years later, it led me to Microsoft.

Have the courage to say no and walk away from opportunities if you see a mismatch. Work is only part of our life and should support our purpose in life.

 

1 Learning from Others

Authenticity

According to Adam Grant, authenticity can be great but there are two caveats.

1. Showing vulnerabilities and admitting weaknesses go better for people who've 'made' it, already have high status. When men make self-deprecating joke, they are judged more capable but this is not the case for women.

2. “Authenticity without empathy is selfish.” Sharing can be endearing, but sharing with others without considering the impact on them makes us a narcissist.

Hiding the real you is exhausting. It's hard to give your best work if you are draining energy trying to 'cover' your true self. But that doesn't mean you should go all out, me, me, me...Be authentic, with positive intent.

 

1 question for you to ponder

Do you show your vulnerable side to others?

Doing something and getting judged for it is much better than doing nothing and judging others.

From Chapter: Do not be afraid to be judged of Unstuck



See you next week.

Aaron Pang
Author of Unstuck and keynote speaker