Connecting with Your Emotional Children: Tips for Parents
Parenting is a tough job, and it can be especially challenging when you have emotional children. As a parent, it's essential to understand your children's emotional needs and connect with them on a deep level. In this article, we'll discuss some tips for parents to help them connect with their emotional children.
1. Kid height - lowering yourself to meet them at eye level
One of the simplest and most effective ways to connect with your emotional children is to lower yourself to their height. This means physically getting down on their level, so you're at eye level with them. This simple act can help your children feel more comfortable and at ease with you, which can make it easier for them to open up and share their feelings.
When you're at your child's level, you're also more likely to pick up on nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, which can provide valuable insights into your child's emotional state. By being present and attuned to your child's emotions, you can help them feel seen and heard, which is essential for building a strong emotional connection.
2. Shortcut for heuristics - associate your children with a mirror to give yourself some mental space
As a parent, it's easy to get caught up in your own emotions and react impulsively to your child's behavior. However, it's important to take a step back and give yourself some mental space so you can respond in a thoughtful and constructive way.
One way to do this is to create a mental shortcut or heuristic that helps you stay grounded and present in the moment. For example, you could associate your children with a mirror, which reminds you to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings before responding to your child's behavior.
By taking a moment to pause and reflect, you can respond to your child's emotions in a more thoughtful and compassionate way, which can help build a stronger emotional connection. You can also share with your children what you are working on, empower them to call you out say when you raise your voice.
3. The default - pay attention to your default experiences as a child and how the association affects your parenting style
Do you know what's sitting below the ice-berg? As parents, we all have default experiences and associations that influence our parenting style. For example, if you grew up in a household where emotions were suppressed or ignored, you may struggle to connect with your emotional children.
It's important to pay attention to your default experiences and associations and how they may be influencing your parenting style. By becoming aware of these patterns, you can begin to challenge them and develop new strategies for connecting with your children.
One way to do this is to practice mindfulness and self-reflection. Take some time each day to reflect on your parenting style and the emotions and feelings that come up for you. By becoming more aware of your own emotions and patterns, you can begin to develop new strategies for connecting with your children in a more authentic and meaningful way.
4. The Perfection fallacy - strive for a realistic threshold and set appropriate expectations, as much as we want to be perfect, we can't
Finally, it's important to remember that none of us are perfect parents, and we're all going to make mistakes along the way. It's essential to set appropriate expectations for yourself and your children and to be kind and compassionate when things don't go as planned.
Instead of striving for perfection, focus on building a strong emotional connection with your children and creating a safe and nurturing environment where they can express their emotions freely. This means being present, attuned, and responsive to your child's emotional needs and providing them with the support and guidance they need to navigate the ups and downs of life.
Connecting with emotional children can be challenging, but it's essential for building a strong and healthy parent-child relationship. By lowering yourself to your child's height, creating mental shortcuts, paying attention to your default experiences, and setting realistic expectations, you can develop new strategies for connecting with your children in a more authentic and meaningful way. Remember to be kind and compassionate with yourself and your children, and don't strive for perfection – focus on building a strong emotional connection and creating a safe and nurturing environment where your children can thrive.